Friends

Yesterday I had a few friends over at my house for a low key cook-out. We had a lot of fun, just spending time eat and laughing. At one point in the night my friends decided to “toast” me. Its odd sitting there just listening people say good things about you (when after you have cooked them dinner are they really going to say something bad), when these things people are saying are somewhat true its really hard to just sit and say thank you with out pointing out the negative. For me the parts of my personality that shine in my mind are the negative points. I always focus on the negative parts of life, expect the worse so when something better happens its great. Its this negative out look that sometimes keeps my heart and soul “safe”, and also kills friendships and loves that could be great because I cant let my shields down long enough to just trust and and not look at the bad things. My goal as a new stage of my life starts is to focus on the good not worry about the bad, and try to take things at face value and not over think everything. I know how hard this might ended up being but nothing worth having in life is really easy so lets see how it goes. I will keep you updated.

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Random Thought of the Day: If you eat a live frog every morning nothing worse could happen each day 🙂

It’s been a long dark night….

It’s been a long dark night 
And I’ve been a waitin’ for the morning 
It’s been a long hard fight 
But I see a brand new day a dawning 
I’ve been looking for the sunshine 
‘Cause I ain’t seen it in so long 
But everything’s gonna work out just fine 
Everything’s gonna be all right 
That’s been all wrong 

Dolly oh Dolly you always seem to have the right words. Its amazing how music can effect our lives sometimes in positive ways and other times in negative ways. I feel like I have been in the dark for a really long time now, but I am starting to see the morning. Sometimes its hard see the light when you are so far in the dark, but the light is always there sometimes its just really hard to see. My life often seems like a black spiral of nothing good, but in reality it takes the bad to make the good even better. I hope that as everyday starts new that everyday just gets brighter and brighter. There are songs that make me cry each every time i hear them, the song “how great tho art” makes me cry every time. My best friend sang it at my grandfathers funeral, and it changed that song forever. There are so many songs that make me think of certain people, places, or times. Now is my time to focus on the good things, if you are in bad times its okay just don’t stay there for to long. And if you are stuck in bad place go to Dolly she always has the right words in song or movie form 🙂 

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Random Thought of the Day: 1. Gays are born, not made. 
2. Being gay is not a choice – who would choose to be hated and discriminated against? 
3. Gays are not automatically pedophiles. 
4. Gays don’t cause AIDS. AIDS is a virus. 
5. You can’t get AIDS from talking to or being near a gay person because it’s not spread that way. 
6. Gays are just as capable of long term relationships as straights, and some of them are even better at it than straights are. 
7. Letting gay people have civil marriage will not bring about the end of marriage, FOX already did that with all its marriage reality shows
8. Gay people often have a wicked sense of humor and wit and if you ever talked to one you’d know that. 
9. Gay women were not put on earth for straight men’s amusement, that “lesbian” porno situation will never happen to you. 
10. Not all gays fit the stereotype. There could be one right next to you right now and you’d never notice. You might be best friends with one or related to one and you’d never notice. Ha ha. 

 

Fake Cheese Pizza :(

So recently I have become lactose intolerant, there are so many things you don’t think about that you cant eat anymore. I have been craving pizza like a crazy man, but cheese less pizza is not very good just really greasy. Veggie cheese is a really odd thing, at least it melts but that flavor and texture is a little shall we say odd. But in life often times we have to settle for things that are not quite as good as they could be, because we don’t have a choice. We have to figure out when we can bend and when we have to stand firm no matter what the consequences. In life sometimes the things and people we love most in our lives can be the worse things for us physically and/or emotionally. Just no that sometimes some fake cheese is better then no cheese at all, but fake love is no love at all. 

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Random Thought of the Day:  My feet hurt :/

Marilyn Monroe

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself…and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
— Marilyn Monroe

There is so much truth in this statement, Everything does happen for a reason. Letting go of people is one of the hardest things to do in life no matter how much you now you have to do it. Every time your heart gets broken it feel like you will never be okay again, but you just ended up stronger then when you started. People thing that heart break only happens when you are dating someone that could not be farther form the truth. Some of the worst heart breaks I have ever had have come from friends who I trusted with my whole heart. Trust is a hard thing to balance and figure out where to share it. Trust at times is the easiest and the hardest thing to give away, but more often then not almost impossible to get back. But loosing trust in someone only gains to give greater trust in oneself. As we travel down the road of life and the good things fall apart they only help us grow into the people we need to be for what come next in life. Every road in life leads to another road, sometimes we might have to build a road out of nothing which really just make you bad ass if you build a road from nothing after all 🙂 Just remember you will get hurt, you will trust someone who does not give it back, But you will be stronger for it. 

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Random Thought of the Day: Sometimes there is nothing better in life then A nice cold glass of iced tea 🙂

 

Teacher Evaluations

For the last two semesters I have taught art appreciation at a local university. I am the odd bird who really enjoys teaching this class, most people find it painful. Its not often in life that we get to see in print good things we do. Out of everything that my students said about me as a teacher almost all of it was good. “He really believes in what he’s teaching”, “I like how loud and outspoken you were!”, “Class was fun to come to, keep being funny, unlike a lot of the other lame ass professors.” These are just a few of the good things from the list, its good to see in print you are unlike a lot of the other lame ass professors. Its really odd how in life we rate everything sometimes in print other times just in your own head. Our evaluations really in the big picture do not matter that much, they are like options we all have one. Sometimes its good to hear the good things as with my teacher evaluations but do these good thoughts really teach us anything? As hard as negative things are to hear they are really what teaches us and helps each one of use to grow as a person. Sometimes the negative things might be as minor as don’t wear that shirt again or as major as you need to look at who you are dating. So sometimes in life remember its okay to say negative things just make sure you are really trying to help the person 🙂

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Random Thought of the Day: Be who you are cause those who mind don’t, and those who matter don’t mind. Dr. Seuss 

Birthday’s

When you are little your birthday is such a big deal that you celebrate even your half birthday. Then in your  early 20s most people don’t remember what happened on there birthday. At some point for me it was 25 you start dreading birthdays because they seem to be a constant reminder that you are getting older. Today was one of my best friends birthdays,after a night of wings and friends we where sitting there a little after midnight and the realization that we really just wanted to go home and get some sleep. Are we old? Are we just lame? What does it mean? I don’t really know the answer but what I do know is that I am not the person i once was nor and am I the person that when i would tell me that I am 6 1/2 thought I would grow up to be. I have made some really bad and stupid choices in my life, as well as my fair share of good ones to. But no matter who I end up being in the end what I know is that I will have lived my life to the fullest in the most real version of myself I can be.

 

Random Thought of the Day: Why in the world do people think its okay to wear socks with saddles? ITS NOT 🙂

Pride

Today I spent the most  day at a local pride event. I had a lot of fun, it was great to see the gay community come together if only for a few hours. The rainbow has become the symbol for the  gay commuinty and I had never really thought about why? So I looked up the what the colors mean :red: life, orange: healing, yellow: sunlight, green: nature,indigo/blue: serenity/harmony, and violet: spirit its a symbol that we have all seen gay or not but have we really thought about the meaning. The one of these that really sticks out to me is healing.  Healing is something that we all need In the end it does not matter if we are gay or straight we are people who have been hurt in someway by society. Today while having a very peaceful gathering there were 4 protesters there, I honestly feel really sorry for them. They have no more understand of the concept  of Love then the reality of being gay. But I was so proud of everyone that was there nothing negative was said or done to them they where just greeted with smiles and happiness. It was uplifting to see hate being killed with kindness, hate cannot live if it is not given the power to grow stronger. Thank you West Virginia Pride for making today so great. Image

Random Thought of the Day: In Honor of the Tony’s 🙂

I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…

Steel Magnolias

In life there are very few things that are constant. For me one constant is the movie “Steel Magnolias”, no matter what is going on in a day good or bad it makes me smile and cry every time. My house burnt down a few months ago and one my best friends in the whole world showed up to see me with DVD in had because she knew that no matter what happened in my life I need that movie in hand. Most any day or night you can open my blue-ray player and you will find it sitting there. There is something comforting in watching a movie that you have seen so many time that you can quote it line by line. In life there are very few moments when you know what is going to happen next, if life where a movie that you had seen it would so much easier. If I look at the cast of Characters in my life i have been very blessed to have so many sweet and crazy people in my life. There are people that come into our lives to play a bit part just for a few moments, then there are other who are meant to play a long on going role. Not that the small parts are any less important than the big ones just different. My movie is almost 31 years going as of August, and there have been many climatic points and others of kinda boring back story (Trust me I will take the boring back story any day). So lets see what the next take is going be…. 🙂

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Random Thought of the Day: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?????

Gay Hating Gays

Often I hear that I am to gay for my own good. What in the world does that mean? Yes I am more fashion forward then most guys in this area, do I like soap operas and chic flicks, I have more shoes then most girls I know but does that mean I am “too gay”?  Did I spend a lot of childhood playing with Barbie dolls, my little pony’s, and wearing a tutu while dancing around yes I did and I am very proud of that. Will I change who I am because someone does not like how I act or dress, nope not going to happen. There is a whole sub-sect of gay men who really don’t like gay men it really confuses me so much. Do we not have enough trouble trying to make people who don’t understand our community understand, and we spend so much time fighting among ourselves that we take the time to get to know and understand people before we judge them. I am who I am no matter what anyone thinks, if that means all my friends will be girls and I will be single for the rest of my life I am fine with that. I AM A GAY MAN WHO LOVES PINK, KEEP STEAL MAGNOLIAS IN MY DVD PLAYER, AND HAS WAY WAY WAY TO MANY PAIRS OF SHOES AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT. Now other people need to learn to deal with it. 🙂

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Random Thought of the Day: 

Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

Coconut Cream Pie

ImageLast night I made a homemade coconut cream pie (Milk free since as the old I get the more my body hates and no longer process milk :/ ). It was really easy or so it seemed. I mixed it all together and put it in the crust and it looked good, I bake the pie the time it said to and looked fine when I pulled it out of the oven. Made the topping and put it back in the oven, and as you can see for the photo it looked really good.    It sat in the fridge over night and I was really excited to taste it today. I cut the pie and at first it looked really good then I saw it was really runny. Of course I still tried the pie, it actually tasted really good. As I was looking at the pie it made me think about how so many people lives look perfect on the outside but when you look in the middle they are runny mess. But sometimes a mess can be the best tasting thing in the world same with people most of my best friends are really total messes. ( the reason we are friend is cause I am the king of the mess 🙂 ) So don’t ever let someone make you feel bad about yourself or question who you are because they look like they have it all together. Most people don’t really have it all together as much as they seem. Image

Random Thought of the Day: Every room need a little bit of animal print, I prefer Zebra 🙂