Moving Forward

So often in life we spend way to much time thinking about the past, worrying that things did not turn out the way we thought they would. Life is a mess but a beautiful mess, I have what people call a bad case of mother bird syndrome. I collect broken and sad people who I then try to fix. The hardest part is that you have to realize you can help someone whos does not want help or is not willing to put in the work themselves. I am 100% once you have reached my inter circle will defended you, fight for you,  and love you to the point it ends up hurting me. Moving forward is a hard thing to do. Going blindly into the future not really know whats going to happen next. Yesterday was my 35 birthday and also a day that I have to let go of someone who I have cared about for years to the point of hurting other potential good and healthy relationships that might have come along.   35 has been a very introspective birthday for me, in reality in am close to middle age 70 or so would be my guess as long as I will possibly make it. I often say one of these day I will figure out what I want to do when I grow up, well its time to get going. Moving forward into a future that I dont expect to be easy but an adventure. When I look about at what I think have been the most courageous  moments of my life,  they where moments where I just did what felt right. Coming out be authentic to myself, getting not one but two art degrees, or going to Brasil with 6 people I didn’t know at all for 6 weeks these things just happened not sleep loss or questioning my choices it was just what I did. Now is the time to do and stop talking, stop thinking, and just do. Dream Big or dont dream at all. I just heard of the death of three people I have know for a long time, one lived a long and amazing life, one died to young but still got to see the birth of his grandchildren, the other was born sick and never lived a typical life but was a joyful no matter how he could or could not communicate it.  Life is messy and unpredictable live now for tomorrow might not come.


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